May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
