You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
