I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
