so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
