any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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