Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
