I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
