We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You made out with two different species that night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
