even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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