This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
