He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
