I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
