I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
