I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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