I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
