remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
