i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
