Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
