In the future we'll all be gay
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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