I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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