just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
