Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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