your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Terrible idea I love it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
