i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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