Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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