You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
