so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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