pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
