ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
