Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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