I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
