First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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