at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
