I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
