is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
