Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
