I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
