yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She needs sedatives and a leash
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
