hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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