I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Who died my cat blue again?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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