Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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