so explain again why im purple
no
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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