My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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