Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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