i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
