that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
