Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
