You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
