great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
