My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
