Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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