I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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