Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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