Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
